January 2006 - Monthly Archive

31 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4064

We'll See

?We?ll see,? I said, and heard my daughter sigh. She knew what that meant, just as I knew when my mother said it to me when I was her age. It meant the answer was probably ?no.? It meant my mother did... read more..

31 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4395

Border problem

An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years.... read more..

31 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3133

Hearing Request

During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed.One man's request was for his hearing. The evangelist spit on his finger, put it in the man's ear, prayed for him and a... read more..

30 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

11831

Planning Ahead

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing ... read more..

To Fully Follow the Lord - Joshua 14: 6-15

30 Jan

Rev. Spence Laycock

4215

To Fully Follow the Lord - Joshua 14: 6-15

I imagine it was about dusk as the first ones made it back into camp, then within minutes the whole team had arrived. There was an air of excitement as the word spread that the twelve men had returned... read more..

30 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3195

Oarsmen News

One day, the Captain of the 40-oared royal Nile barge goes down to speak to the oarsmen in the hold of his ship."Men, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, the Queen will be joini... read more..

29 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5082

Family Problems

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said: "You think you have family problems? Listen to my sit... read more..

29 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

4418

Like a Summer Thunderstorm

Introducing someone is easy enough if the person is there with you. Introducing someone who is not present requires you to describe the person in terms that accurately portray who that person is. For ... read more..

28 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4938

Comedians' Convention

Someone brought a visitor and the new fellow sat fascinated as the funnymen shouted out numbers--"56!" "923!" "307!" Each time a number was called, the others would laugh and laugh. Finally he asked ... read more..

28 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3251

Sunday Complaints

After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, "The choir was awful this morning."The father commented, "The sermon was too long."Their 7-year-old daughter added, "You've got to admit it was a p... read more..

27 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4524

Hi Tech Watch

A man is at Grand Central Station waiting for his train which leaves at 6:00 PM but he has forgotten his watch. So he looks for someone to ask the time.He spots this guy walking past carrying 2 ... read more..

27 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3993

Malice In ?I Wonder Who I Am? Land

For many years I maintained confidence in my personal identity. I knew exactly who I was and was quite comfortable in my skin. Although, I must confess my skin used to fit me better than it does these... read more..

27 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3809

Finish Paving

While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour ... read more..

26 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4382

No Matter What

Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they would play the ball where it lies... "No matter what!" On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his drive and ... read more..

26 Jan

Wonders of Creation

4269

Wonders of Creation - Rubber

When you buy a new packet of rubber bands they are usually dry, stretchy and you expect them to last a few weeks, even out in the weather, but after some time the rubber changes. It loses its stretch ... read more..

26 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2889

Business Exhaustion

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired,... read more..

25 Jan

Rev. Spence Laycock

3778

Bound To Glory

What was the most sacred place that you have ever been in? The kind of place where awe and reverence for God were experienced, a place that was set apart from all other places, a holy place. You know,... read more..

25 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4241

Understanding Your Paycheck

Gross pay: $1222.02 Income Tax Outgo Tax State Tax Interstate Tax244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89 County Tax City Tax Rural Tax Back Tax6.11 12.22 4.44 1.11 Front Tax Side Tax Up Tax Down Tax1.16 1.61 2.22 ... read more..

25 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2785

Game Question

The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to h... read more..

24 Jan

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4132

Heads Up

The mass of bodies looks almost like a large boulder sitting in the midst of the white Antarctic landscape, but as the camera moves in it becomes obvious that it is a living thing ? a huddle of pengui... read more..

24 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4206

Backwoods Delivery

Deep in the backwoods, the goober's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed th... read more..

Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

24 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3197

Excerpts From "A Cat's Guide To Human Beings"

1. Introduction: Why Do We Need Humans?So you've decided to get yourself a human being. In doing so, you've joined the millions of other cats who have acquired these strange and often frustrating crea read more..

22 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4679

Pop Rocks

Cassie was taking two of her Grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio to Washington, DC. A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before.&n... read more..

22 Jan

Joshua Goodling

5307

A Life That Is True

One Christmas, William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, wanted to send a message of encouragement to his staff and volunteers. He chose a message of one word - "Others!" The meaning of life is su... read more..

22 Jan

Sermons

Pastor Tim

3050

Help Yourself Hear God

Can you tell the difference between God's voice and the voice of your mind saying what it best pictures God would probably speak to you? That's an important thing to know before you ca... read more..

21 Jan

Dr. Harold McNabb

5158

Why Me, Lord?

In the mid 1930's an unlikely horse became a racing sensation. Its name was Sea biscuit and was the perfect hero for the depression era when so many people saw their dreams end up on the scrap pile. S... read more..

21 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3628

Accident and Interview

Thorn was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large ... read more..

21 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2551

Computer Career

Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My position had been reclassified to fall into a new area outside of the I/S staff. One day, my new supervisor ... read more..

21 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3937

Normally We Do ? But Not Today

For a Christmas present, our children pulled their resources and gave the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly a marvelous little vacation in the eastern hills of Tennessee. Upon arrival... read more..

20 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4710

Airline Announcements

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or repor... read more..