A woman decided to have her portrait painted.  She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

"I know," she said.  "It's in case I should die before my husband.  I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery."