May 2005 - Monthly Archive

31 May

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4968

Christians Aren't Allowed to Be Jerks

One of my callers had a valid question. He asked if there is such a thing as mean-spirited Christians. My answer was, yes, Christians do all kinds of bad things, unfortunately. I have to confess to y... read more..

31 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4592

Tired of Rejection?

Tired of being rejected for jobs - maybe this form letter will come in handy. Dear [Interviewer's Name]: Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview]. After careful consideration, I regret to in... read more..

31 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3034

Newspaper Ads

**Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks included.**Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.**Girl wanted to assist magician in cutti read more..

31 May

Misc

pirate

2020

Loud Teenagers...

Cycling home from Cluster tonight (that's church speak for a group bigger than homegroup and smaller than the church congregation) two lasses were heckling passers by. An amusing comment floated ... read more..

30 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3895

"If It" Office Advice

If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly. If it clanks, call the repairman. If it whistles, ignore it. If it is a friend, take a break. If it is the boss, look busy. If it talks, take notes. If it is handw... read more..

Planting Your Family's Roots Deeply into the Local Church

30 May

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4844

Planting Your Family's Roots Deeply into the Local Church

How essential is the local church in developing strong, godly families? One man told me the church definitely takes second or third place in his list of priorities. "Family has to come first," he said... read more..

30 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2774

Executive Approval

For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company. After a good annual review, my supervisor told me I was up for a raise, pending approval of the vice president.A m... read more..

29 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3999

Goober Farmers

There were two farmers, neither one had much common sense. They were told by the Forman to put the mule in the barn. When they led the mule over to the barn, they decided that the mule's ears were too... read more..

29 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5097

Window Washer

There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, "What do you do for a living?" He said, "Well, I used to be a window washer." I a... read more..

28 May

Misc

pirate

2088

Saturday at work

(Ooops, I nearly broke the Blogging system, see below - sorry about that folks.) Colleagues & customers will be somewhat bemused on Teusday. We spent Saturday rearranging stock, shelving and read more..

28 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5615

ACTS 2:38

This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think t... read more..

28 May

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4048

Satisfaction Guaranteed

Many stores have the words "Satisfaction Guaranteed" in their store policies. You buy something in their store, and if it doesn't meet your expectations, and you aren't satisfied, you can return it fo... read more..

28 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3405

Flood Prediction

Meteorological experts predicted a massive flood that would destroy the world.The Pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your maker."The president went on T... read more..

I Think I'll Drop Everything And Just Go Fishin'

27 May

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3675

I Think I'll Drop Everything And Just Go Fishin'

I said something last week I haven't said in years. Where it came from, I really don't know. It's funny, you're tooling along minding your own business for weeks, maybe months at a time, and then some... read more..

27 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4076

The Cowboy's New Car

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he ought as soon as he gets back" "Not Tex" said ... read more..

27 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3150

Dispatch Message

One night at McCord Air Force Base, I was dispatched to check out the security fence where an alarm had gone off. The fence was at the end of the base runway.When I got to the scene, I found a raccoon... read more..

26 May

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3375

Memories . . . The Corners Of My Mind

Brains...we've all got them, believe it or not--and scientists allege that we use but 10 percent of their capacity! Now I am not a mathematician like my son, but if I am ACTIVELY using 10 percent of m... read more..

26 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4195

Sorry I'm Late Mom

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into... read more..

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When…

26 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3544

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When…

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?" you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.A woman comes into the ... read more..

26 May

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2638

Latest Blog Entries

If you are a reader looking for the latest blog entries, you will find them on our new blogging system.? Just click a'subcategory in the left hand column, under the section you clicked to open this wi... read more..

26 May

Misc

2688

My Dad

I am so glad the funeral is over for my father. My family is so hard to deal with. When i was with them they acted as if my mom is the only one grieving. I don't mean anything. I do not know i... read more..

25 May

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3148

Are You Marking Time by Your Stomach?

My husband and I recently had coffee with some old friends. They are old in the sense that we have known them for a long time, but they are also old in age. They admitted they are starting to slow dow... read more..

25 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5063

Help Wanted

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity ... read more..

25 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2530

Hair Mission

In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model. I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the ... read more..

24 May

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3191

Confessions of a Chocoholic

I am a chocoholic. I know it, my friends know it, now YOU know it--and Choco Anonymous should be very happy with my complete confession. I've taken the first step on the road to recovery! OK, if you R... read more..

24 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4606

Inventions That Didn't Succeed

The waterproof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine screen doors A book on how to read Inflatable dart boards A dictionary index Powdered water Waterproof tea ... read more..

24 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4495

Universal Solvent

"The father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school on Parents' Day and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab. "What are you working on?" he asked."A u read more..

24 May

Misc

pirate

2189

Generally Boring Blogging stuff

I have finally booked car wreckers to remove Ryan Orion from my forecourt. Just as well as the tax disc runs out this month. I wandered round St John's College this morning, surfed the internet and... read more..

23 May

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5208

Finding The Cat's Diary

Day 752 - My captors continue to haunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is... read more..

23 May

Rev. Spence Laycock

3615

The Third Watch

If you've ever worked shift work in a job that goes twenty four hours a day, then you've probably worked the Third Watch. This is the third shift of the day, the four to midnight shift that wraps up a... read more..