October 2004 - Monthly Archive

31 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3938

"WWJV ? Whom Would Jesus Vote For?

My favorite novel, as a young person, was In His Steps, written by Charles Sheldon. The premise of this novel is simple. A group of people in the church made a spiritual pact that before doing or sayi... read more..

31 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3044

Check Signing

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children.The work ke... read more..

30 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5239

Backwoods Labor

In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed ... read more..

30 Oct

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

4244

Rotten Eggs

"There's a Rotten Egg in the Room!"Now that I've taken your appetite away, let me tell you why! You see, last night I precariously entered my teenage son's room, if you can call it a room, m read more..

30 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2802

The Next One

After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers."I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."The next time came around and ... read more..

29 Oct

Ask Pastor Tim

Pastor Tim

8490

Pastor Tim, Who Are You Voting For?

Pastor Tim, who are you voting for in the upcoming federal election?Signed, Weye BawtherDear Weye,I am going to vote for the candidate and/or party that I feel most moved by my Christian convictions t... read more..

29 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4037

Dead Politicians

A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and findi... read more..

More things you would never know without the movies

29 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3125

More things you would never know without the movies

The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love... The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in ... read more..

28 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4081

Blind Pilots

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up, so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the re... read more..

Is God a Democrat or A Republican? And Other Cultural Oddities

28 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3500

Is God a Democrat or A Republican? And Other Cultural Oddities

The amazing thing about contemporary American culture is its predisposition to organize itself into neat little categories. This "pigeonhole syndrome," referred to by some as PHS, (not to be... read more..

28 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3004

Hacker Safety

The hacker hit the ball into the rough and landed on an anthill.He tried three times to hit the ball and each time he missed the ball and hit the anthill. Ants went flying all over the place.One ant ... read more..

27 Oct

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3799

No Trespassing - Keep Out!

We've all seen the sign. Sometimes it's on a fence protecting a farmer's field or on a closed gate shutting off access to someone's home. Sometimes it's on the door to a teenager's bedroom. And someti... read more..

27 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6438

Dishonesty Doesn't Pay

One year, at Western, there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid... read more..

27 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2941

The Internet Pledge

Are you BRAVE enough to take the Internet pledge!!1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and... read more..

26 Oct

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

4654

Tragedy At Hendrick Motor Sports

"So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forev read more..

26 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4117

More Cute Kids

On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told the children that it was St.Francis' Church."It must be a franchise," he... read more..

26 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3082

Time Off

Two men working in a factory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said one."How are you going to do that?""Watch," he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked what he was doin... read more..

The Ultimate Ultimatum: 'Clean Your Office Or Else'

25 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3563

The Ultimate Ultimatum: 'Clean Your Office Or Else'

I'm sitting here in my office in a state of complete befuddlement. It's not that I haven't been befuddled before. If anyone knows befuddlement, it is Yours Truly. I've been befuddled many times, and ... read more..

25 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4488

Battle Of The Dogs

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to set... read more..

25 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3173

Application

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative ... read more..

24 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4574

Parachute Training

While attending US Army's Airborne School.....The Day before our first jump, the instructors (known as SGT Airbornes, students are called 'Airborne') demonstrated all the possible malfunctions one mig... read more..

24 Oct

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3001

The Essence of Spiritual Belief

"We have entered a time when ... people ... are awakening to the call ... to ... transform ourselves into wholesome, healthy, balanced, collective human beings ..." Sounds good, doesn't it? read more..

24 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3207

Lawyer Son

When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her Ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors.As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.Asked about th... read more..

23 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4783

Shakey's Cure

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I`ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there`s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there`s so... read more..

23 Oct

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4272

Better Than The Ballot

Let's not overlook a power greater than politics as we seek to change America America's simmering pot of politics is set to boil over. From now until election day, we'll hear a lot about "p... read more..

23 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3377

Grandfather Putt

Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 45-foot, downhill putt. As he lined it up, he announced, "I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet... read more..

22 Oct

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

3954

Palm Branches

"?a huge crowd of Passover visitors took palm branches and went down the road tomeet Him. They shouted, "Praise God! Bless the one who comes in the nameof the Lord! Hail to the King of Israe read more..

22 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

17149

New Phonetic Alphabet

The same old standard phonetic alphabet (which you would use to describe spelling "Wilson" as "Whiskey, India, Lima, Sierra, Oscar, November") has been used by aircraft pilots, police, and many others... read more..

22 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2992

Quarter Rush

On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the owner suddenly emerged from the kitchen and handed me money."We're in trouble!" He said. "We're out of quarters... read more..

21 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6066

Stolen Goat

The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals:"We knew Army cadets were involved because th... read more..