The journey through grief can take you through a period of growing, stretching, and learning. God weaves together a beautiful tapestry of lessons to help us through our journey towards healing. Grief is not a straight line. The grief journey is filled with curves, bends, ruts, and revelations. Healing takes time.
Loss becomes more frequent as we age. Just the other day I heard that my very dear friend was diagnosed with cancer. God directed me to a passage of Scripture to write in a card to encourage her, taken from Psalm 145: 17, 18 "The LORD is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The LORD is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth." As it turned out, this was the same passage my friend had read that morning. Yes, indeed God is God and God is good. Yet, since writing this devotional, my dear and sweet friend, went home to be with Jesus.
In his book A Grace Disguised ...how the soul grows through loss, Jerry Sittser says, "The experience of loss does not have to be the defining moment of our lives, instead, the defining moment can be our response to the loss. It is not what happens to us that matters so much as what happens in us." He goes on to share many deep lessons on the topic of grief. Here is a description of the book:
“Loss. It's a word that many of us fear and few of us can evade. It stalked Jerry Sittser one night and struck with full fury on a lonely road in Idaho. In an instant, a tragic accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife, and his young daughter. But this is not a book about one man's sorrow. Rather, it is a moving meditation on the losses we all suffer and the grace that can transform us. A Grace Disguised plumbs the depth of our sorrows, whether due to illness, divorce, or the loss of someone we love. The circumstances are not important; what we do with those circumstances is. In the coming to the end of ourselves, we come to the beginning of a new life - one marked by spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of simple blessings. If your soul aches, you may be on a journey that will stretch your faith, your understanding of the meaning of life, and your knowledge of God. If you let it, your sorrow will increase your capacity to live well, to love life, and to experience joy, not after the darkness but even in the midst of it."
(Jerry Sittser is a professor of religion at Whitworth College. He holds a Master of Divinity degree from Fuller Theological Seminary and a Doctorate in History from the University of Chicago.)
The well-loved hymn which addresses grief and pain is Be Still My Soul. A flood of emotion often overwhelms me as this hymn is sung. I have included the lyrics so we can pause and deeply reflect on the meaning of these words.
Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
in every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
to guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
and all is darkened in the vale of tears;
then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Katherine von Schlegel; trans. Jane Borthwick;The United Methodist Hymnal, No. 534
None of what I am learning about loss diminishes the pain. Yet, I can see the amazing ways in which God has been with me in times of sorrow which gives me deep comfort and joy despite the ache. I still have bad days which we can all relate to. This will all change, on that glorious day when we see Jesus. Until then, remember these words …. Our God does undertake ... in every change, He faithful will remain ... these thorny ways will lead to a joyful end. Be still my soul.
Susan Page is the daughter of the King, His beloved child, wonderfully forgiven and blessed! Susan longs to age gracefully, becoming more like Jesus as she seeks the hidden treasures revealed to her through Scripture, literature, the arts, humankind, and nature.