Inspiration

My wife works in the fuels squadron at an Air Force base, and many of her co-workers complain about the superior attitude of the pilots.

One day the fuel crew decided to put things in perspective for the proud pilots. They all came to work wearing shirts inscribed, "Without fuel, pilots are pedestrians."

My best lesson in child psychology came when I saw our five-year-old, Steven, roughly jerking our toy poodle's leash.

Suddenly his fuming father appeared and asked, "Do you want to tell me how sorry you are?"

"I don't know how much you saw!" Steven stammered.

Morris was invited to a party but unfortunately, during the evening, he lost his wallet.

Morris, not being of the shy kind, stood on a chair and shouted, "Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I've just lost my wallet with over $1,500 in cash in it. To the person that finds my wallet, I will give $150."

A voice from the back of the room shouted, "I will give$175!"

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller-- guaranteed to work."

I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.