Inspiration

Scientists have discovered an incredible fact:

If an article of clothing is allowed to hang uninterrupted in a closet throughout just one holiday season, it will shrink at least two sizes.

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.

The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

My wife works in the fuels squadron at an Air Force base, and many of her co-workers complain about the superior attitude of the pilots.

One day the fuel crew decided to put things in perspective for the proud pilots. They all came to work wearing shirts inscribed, "Without fuel, pilots are pedestrians."

My best lesson in child psychology came when I saw our five-year-old, Steven, roughly jerking our toy poodle's leash.

Suddenly his fuming father appeared and asked, "Do you want to tell me how sorry you are?"

"I don't know how much you saw!" Steven stammered.