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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

August 18th?  Yes, already. There is a barbecue after church today. I'm going to enjoy these summer days while they last!

Today's video share is a beautiful song I only recently heard for the first time: The Old Church Yard.
Click here to watch.

~ Pastor Tim 

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist.

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.

It's a good day ... the bulb finally burned out on my check engine light!

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

One of our elders is raising rabbits. They live in a rabbit hutch in his backyard.

I decided that they needed a more classy domicile so I made a sign for their enclosure which reads: "Hare Salon."

- Raul el Perro

"Fear arises when we imagine everything depends on us."

- Elisabeth Elliot

The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant, named Calle. It seems that Calle has a chronic illness which requires daily medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a pharmacologist developed a suppository for her.

The 10-inch-long, four-pound, cocoa-butter bullets are crafted by the good folks at Guittard Chocolates in Burlingame, California.

Administering the DAILY medication takes five zoo workers, including one person to distract Calle with treats and one person who wears a full-arm glove.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALL THIS MEANS?

It means that five people have jobs worse than yours!

Now stop complaining and get back to work.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

I have been showing people a picture of my brain for almost a month now. I’ve been having a lot of fun doing it and teasing people by saying, “I have proof that I have a brain.”

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.