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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
After a longer than usual summer, we got some early snow at Cybersalt World Headquarters this week. It's all melted now, making it the best kind of snow!
Rev. Suneel Barkat and his wife would appreciate prayer as they try to find a new house in the part of Pakistan they are moving back to after a few years away doing nursing training. With the devastating floods of the summer, places to rent are scarce and life even harder for them in that country.
Today's video share is not a miracle (as it says in the title) but I am looking forward to trying this trick with superglue and cotton!
Click here to watch the video.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Insurance Claims
These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in the fewest words possible.
***************************
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.
A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.
The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.
One wheel went into a ditch. My foot jumped from brake to accelerator, leaped across the road to the other side, and jumped into the trunk of a tree.
I had been driving for about 40 years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
One-Liner #1696
I would imagine if you could understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
- Mitch Hedberg
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Major League Negotiations
Baseball umpires want salary hikes.
The response from the owners is, "Yikes!
Can't afford increased pay."
So the union does say,
"Then our recourse is calling more strikes."
-* Kirk Miller
Quote #2133
"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."
- Benjamin Franklin
Military Bureaucracy
When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit. One day a long form came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it.
However, a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read: "You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure."
So I did.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
