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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

The other day, Grandma Cybersalt sent me an email inviting me to a date: "Invitation: Septic Pump Out @ Thu Aug 4, 2022 8am - 12pm" Of course, I accepted right away because almost everything is better when I do it with Susan!

Actually, the reason behind this invitation was to keep our two calendars in sync and confirm the unspoken arrangement between us that Susan would book the appointment and I would greet the honey wagon when it arrives.

To make sure I keep up my end of the deal, Susan is out of town - but not by design. She flew to Toronto yesterday to bring our grandson back (on the same day) for a summertime visit. However, a storm caused a delay for one of their flights back and they were both stuck in Calgary last night.

This means that Susan will not be home for one other unspoken part of our deal, being: if the political promises tank truck shows up at 8:00am, she will not be able to wake me up to go out and do my part. But I'm not going to make a big stink about that because I know that "stuff" happens. Nothing is going to hit the fan when she gets back!

Speaking of stuff that happens, today's video share is one I may have already featured in the digest. It was filmed a few miles off shore from where we live and involves a killer whale and a seal.  Here's a hint as to whether you want to watch it or not: "The killer whale wins." If you are one who tends to cheer for the seals, you might like to take a pass on this one.
Click here to watch.

~ Pastor Tim

"I'm going fishing."
    Really means: "I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"It's a guy thing."
    Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
    Really means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh-huh." "Sure, honey." "Yes, dear."
    Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
    Really means: "I have no idea how it works."

"We're going to be late."
    Really means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
    Really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
    Really means: "Are you still talking?"

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
    Really means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
    Really means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
    Really means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
    Really means: "Please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
    Really means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

The best revenge is living well.

- Jerry Seinfeld

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

I prefer McAfee anti-virus to the other leading software. I guess I'm just anti-Symantec.

"Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds.

You can grow flowers, or you can grow weeds."

- William Wordsworth

German police caught a man playing the flute with both hands as he sped through traffic at 80 miles per hour on a busy highway, Wednesday.

"He was leaning back in the seat and steering the car with his knees and feet," said Bohnert Herzl a police spokes - person. "He looked like he'd had practice."

When caught, the 52-year-old told police he was not actually blowing the instrument. He was just practicing the "holding technique."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.