Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Ladies, do you ever think the men in your lives don't always listen closely to what you say? That might have been the story behind the newest Funny Car Picture on the Cybersalt site. You will find "Jeep Kitchen" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/jeep-kitchen
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
From British Newspapers
1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
- The Daily Telegraph
2) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
- The Guardian
3) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common."
- The Times
4) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of the war in1945. As she recalled to the crowd, "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelled out "Heil Hitler."
- Bournemouth Evening Echo
5) At the height of the gale, the harbormaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
- Aberdeen Evening Express
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1173
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me!
Today's Clean Pun
Irish Toast
A guy and a girl are having a drink together. The man raises his glass and says, "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead!"
"What's that mean?" asks the girl.
"That," answers her date, "is an authentic Irish toast."
"Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."
"Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What's that?"
The girl says, "That's French toast."
Today's Quote
quote #0275
"As you slide down the Banister of Life, may the Splinters never point the wrong way."
- Irish Blessing
Today's Illustration
An Irish Friendship Blessing
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.