Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
Walter McLauren e-mailed me on Friday wondering if I had "called in fat" last Chicken Thursday (a new one for me) because I had not sent a mailing out. As it happened, Wednesday night was our church's annual general meeting and Grandma Cybersalt and I simply ran out of time to get a mailing out.
But now that I know about it, I am going to save "calling in fat" for another day for sure!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
*Famous Sports Quotes*
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
--Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
--Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.
"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
--Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements
"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."
--George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
--Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1162
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop; he just sat there drinking his coffee ... like a psychopath.
Today's Clean Pun
Nice Kids
No matter how kind you are, German children are always kinder.
Today's Quote
Quote #1610
"I heard your prayer. Trust my timing."
- TobyMac #SpeakLife
Today's Illustration
Secret Sin
My friend's father is a locksmith in a resort town.
Once he saw a group of beach goers park near his shop and dump trash from their car on his property.
As soon as they were out of sight, the locksmith picked the lock on their car door, put the garbage back inside and re-locked the car.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.