4217
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
What do you buy for the woman who already has the greatest gift? Rev. James Snyder is not the only man to struggle with that question. You can read about his quest in "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/twas-the-night-before-christmas
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Fractured Christmas Carols
No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:
* Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
* We three kings of porridge and tar
* On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
* Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
* He's makin' a list, chicken and rice.
* Noel, noel, noel, noel; Barney's the king of Israel.
* With the jelly toast proclaim
* Olive, the other reindeer.
* Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
* Sleep in heavenly peas
* In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse and brown
* You'll go down in listerine
* Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
* Come, froggy faithful
* You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"
* Good tidings we bring to you and your kid
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1149
Regarding "Eternal Truths:"
No two things are the same, no matter how you look at them.
Today's Clean Pun
Christmas Pizza
What is King Wenceslas' favorite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp, and even.
Today's Quote
Quote #1597
"Jesus isn't just the reason for the season. He's the reason for every day of our life."
Today's Illustration
Who Started Christmas?
A woman was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable, and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.
She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year---overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, get that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, make sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.
Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in the car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff.
When the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, “Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up, and shot.”
From the back of the car everyone heard a quiet, calm voice respond, “Don't worry. We already crucified him."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.