Cybersalt News
The newest Funny Sign picture on the Cybersalt Site would be sure to wreck even the calmest drive by the sea. You'll find "Quiet Drive by the Sea" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-signs/quiet-drive-by-the-sea
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Finally
A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"
The man had gone through this almost every night for 20 years, and he knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out.
This time, however, there was a man with a gun who entered to rob the house.
As the thief was about to flee the man said, "You have to come with me and meet my wife."
Astounded, the thief said, "Why would you want me to meet your wife?"
The man replied, "Well, she's been expecting you for 20 years."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1115
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Today's Clean Pun
Fruit Regret
"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!"
- said Tom dolefully
Today's Quote
Quote #1563
"Worry is a misuse of imagination."
- Unknown
Today's Illustration
Progress, Forgetting How It Was, Television
Black and White
[An ode to times long gone; for older folks only. Under 40, you just won't understand.]
You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good night, David; Good night, Chet".
Dependin' on the channel you tuned
You got Rob and Laura or Ward and June.
It felt so good, felt so right.
Life looked better in black and white.
I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys,
Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys,
Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train,
Superman, Jimmy & Lois Lane.
Father Knows Best, Patty Duke,
Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too,
Donna Reed on Thursday night -
Life looked better in black and white.
I wanna go back to black and white.
Everything always turned out right.
Simple people, simple lives;
Good guys always won the fights
Now nothing is the way it seems
In living color on the TV screen.
Too many murders, too much fight,
I wanna go back to black and white.
In God they trusted, in bed they slept.
A promise made was a promise kept.
They never cussed or broke their vows;
They'd never make the network now.
But if I could, I'd rather be
In a TV town in '53.
It felt so good, felt so right;
Life looked better in black and white.
I'd trade all the channels on the satellite
If I could just turn back the clock tonight
To when everybody knew wrong from right.
Life was better in black and white!
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.