Cybersalt News
There is a new Funny Car Pictures on the Cybersalt Site today. You will find "Warm the Truck Up" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/warm-the-truck-up
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies
- It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.
- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1018
My exercise program consists of having a lot of stairs in my home and forgetting things.
Today's Clean Pun
Math Reason
Know why I went off on a tangent? Cos.
Today's Quote
Quote #1466
We will never be the person we wish to be, but that’s no excuse to be a jerk. We will never be the person we wish to be, but we can die trying.
– Leonard Sweet
Today's Illustration
Fibs, Truth, Honor
Common, Everyday Fibs
* The check is in the mail.
* I'll start my diet tomorrow.
* We service what we sell.
* Give me your number and the doctor will call you right back.
* Money cheerfully refunded.
* One size fits all.
* Your luggage isn't lost, it's only misplaced.
* This hurts me more than it hurts you.
* I just need five minutes of your time.
* Your table will be ready in a few minutes.
* Let's have lunch sometime.
* It's not the money, it's the principle.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.