Issue #3959

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

Yesterday was a dusty day at Cybersalt World Headquarters.  CWH is located next to a really large gravel pit which is being developed for houses. At first glance I thought there was a light fog rolling in, but then I noticed it was a little too beige for it to be that.  I've posted a brief video on YouTube at:
youtu.be/FlPHfeGLm_E

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Goober Hunters Flying

bush plane pictureTwo Goober hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting.  They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls.  The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk.

But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk.  You will have to leave two behind."

One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk.  It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything.  What's with this?  We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear.  But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it.  They crashed in the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one Goober said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"

"I think so," replied the other Goober.

"Yep!  I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!"

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0925

kitchen cabinet"When one door closes another one opens, you should really get that cabinet fixed."



Here is today's CleanPun

Karl Marx's Tomb

picture of karl marxKarl Marx's tomb is a communist plot.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1373

bible open"Do not expect always to get an emotional charge or a feeling of quiet peace when you read the Bible. By the grace of God you may expect that to be a frequent experience, but often you will get no emotional response at all. Let the Word break over your heart and mind again and again as the years go by, and imperceptibly there will come great changes in your attitude and outlook and conduct. You will probably be the last to recognize these... Go on reading it until you can read no longer, and then you will not need the Bible any more, because when your eyes close for the last time in death, and never again read the Word of God in Scripture you will open them to the Word of God in the flesh, that same Jesus of the Bible whom you have known for so long, standing before you to take you for ever to His eternal home."
- Geoffrey Thomas, Reading the Bible


Here is today's Illustration

Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Dated

wedding ringsThings I Wish I'd Known Before I Dated

~ Never date anyone who is rude to the waiter/waitress.

~ Never date anyone who is rude to their mother.

~ If they have a tendency to be rude to you now, just wait.

~ If you date someone who doesn't share your standards, they'll lower yours.

~ The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."

~ Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

~ If he/she says you're too good for him/her, believe it.

~ If they have a tough time apologizing now, just wait.

~ Never date anyone who spends more time gazing into the mirror, than they spend gazing into your eyes.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org