Issue #3897

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

Did you know that Cybersalt World Headquarters is approximately 2000 feet from the Salish Sea and 275 feet above sea level? These are numbers we pay attention to on the Left Coast for times we are alerted to the potential of a tsunami - as happened on Saturday night after Haida Gwaii's 7.7 earthquake (450 miles up the coast). It's another practical example of the need to think vertically in life. Everybody waiting for the superstorm on the East Coast are doing the same thing.  Jeff Larson has a vertically thinking cartoon for such times at:
thebackpew.com/cartoons/hurricaneoflife

There are a bunch more updated funny picture pages on the new Cybersalt site today.  Here are the links for them:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/donkey-watermelon
www.cybersalt.org/funny-signs/emergency-phone
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/office-productivity-down
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/snowball-nuns
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/no-getaway

Enjoy the rest ot today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Dark and Stormy Ride

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/whatsagoober.htm

picture of rain on windowA goober was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he saw a car coming toward him and stop.

Without thinking about it, the guy got into the back seat, closed the door and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel! The car starts slowly; the guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way. Scared, he starts to pray begging for his life.

He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appears every time right before a curve.

Gathering his strength, the goober jumps out of the car and runs to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes to a restaurant and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through.

A silence enveloped everybody when they realize the guy was serious.

About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same restaurant. They looked around for a table when one said to the other,

"Look John, that's the goober who got in the car when we were pushing it."

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0878

"So the Mayans could see the end of the world in 2012 but couldn't see the Spanish coming in 1520?"



Here is today's CleanPun

Sign Language

picture of signing hands"I'm glad I know sign language: it's pretty handy."


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1327

flower in_vase"The flower in the vase smiles, but no longer laughs."
- Malcolm De Chazal


Here is today's Illustration

Sleep In a Storm

a picture of storm cloudsYears ago a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops. As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals.

Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. "Are you a good farmhand?" the farmer asked him. "Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man. Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work.

Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!" The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows."

Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away.

The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically, you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life? The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he had secured the farm against the storm. We, as believers in Christ, secure ourselves against the storms of life by grounding ourselves in the Word of God. We don't need to understand, we just need to hold His hand to have peace in the midst of the storms. I hope you sleep well!

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org