Cybersalt News

There is a new funny picture on the Cybersalt site today.  You will find "Bike Lock Sandals" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/bike-lock-sandals

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Workin' on the Railroad

Benny wanted a job as a signalman on the railways.

At his interview, the inspector asked him this question:

"What would you do if you saw 2 trains heading for each other on the SAME track?

Benny replied," I would switch the points for one of the trains."

"Good. But what if the lever broke?", asked the inspector.

"Then I'd run down to the signal box", said Benny, "and use the manual lever there."

"What if lightning struck it?' asked the inspector.

"Then..." Benny continued, "I'd run back into signal box & phone the next signal box."

"What if the phone was engaged?"

"Well.....in that case," persevered Benny, " I'd rush down out of the box & use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there..."

"What would you do if THAT was vandalized?"

[gbw]"Oh, well then I'd run into the village & get my Uncle Toby."

This bizarre response puzzled the Inspector, so he asked, "And just why would you do that??"

"Because Uncle Toby... He's never seen a train wreck!!"

One-liner #0870

"The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own."

Off To Home Depot

"Well, I'm off to Home Depot - need to buy a couple of large pails for some outside chores, a medium pail for some inside washing, and maybe a small pail for taking to the beach. And there you have it; that's my bucket list."
- David Manzi             

Quote #1319

"The quality of faith a person has is irrelevant, it is the object that that faith is placed in that is significant."

Details

A man walked into a very expensive bakery shop where they specialized in making cakes to order.

"I'd like you to bake me a cake in the shape of the letter "S," he said. "Can you do that?"

"Why certainly!" said the baker. "We can make a cake in any shape at all. When would you like it to be ready.?"

"Have it ready by tomorrow at 3 o'clock, I'll call for it," said the man.

The next day at three o'clock, the man came in for his cake. The baker proudly displayed the cake he had made. It was shaped like the letter S and decorated beautifully.

"Oh!" cried the man. "That's all wrong! That's not what I want. You made it in the shape of a regular printed S. I wanted a graceful script S. That won't do at all!"

"I'm terribly sorry you're so disappointed," said the baker. "We aim to please. I'll make you another cake at no extra charge. Don't worry."

[gbw]All right, then," said the man. "I'll be back at 6 o'clock for the cake. And this time I hope it's right."

At six o'clock the man came in. The baker brought in the new cake. He was all smiles. "Isn't this a beauty!' he exclaimed.

The man looked at the cake. His face lit up.

"That's perfect!" he said. "Just what I wanted."

"I'm delighted," said the baker. "Now tell me, sir, what kind of a box shall I put it in?"

"Oh, don't bother wrapping it up," said the man, "I'll eat it here."