Issue #3884

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

There is a new funny elephant picture on the Cybersalt site today.  You'll find "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-elephant-pictures/elephant-slide-2

Also, the Westside Bible Church site has been updated with recordings of services and sermons from this past summer and September.  You'll find them at:
www.westsidefamily.org/multimedia-podcast

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Headlines from 2050

a picture of newspapers*Headlines from 2050*

Florida to Be Re-admitted to Union

Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock

Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen

Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis Ravens

Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants

Younger Generation's Music Provokes Outrage of Elders

D.C. Zoo to Receive Rare Cow

Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells For $6.9 Million at Sotheby's

Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGE-DisneyCiscoFordRJR-NabiscoExxon-Mobil of Monopoly Charges

50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss

Baby Conceived Naturally

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0866

"I'm excited about the insomnia convention in 2 weeks time: Only 0 sleeps to go!"



Here is today's CleanPun

Dentist vs. Manicurist

What an afternoon! I was out shopping when a fight broke out between a dentist and a manicurist.

You should've seen the two of 'em, going after each other tooth and nail.

David Manzi


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1315

straight-road"There is a ditch is on either side of the path of life. Basically, legalism is on one side and lawlessness on the other. The path of life is between these extremes. Many Christians spend their lives oscillating between these two ditches because of their tendency to overreact to mistakes or failures (of either themselves or leadership)."
- Rick Joyne


Here is today's Illustration

I'll be happy when . . .

picture of a toe tag smileyWe convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with . . . and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting ...

Until your car or home is paid off.

Until you get a new car or home.

Until your kids leave the house.

Until you go back to school.

Until you finish school.

Until you lose 10 lbs.

Until you gain 10 lbs.

Until you get married.

Until you get a divorce.

Until you have kids.

Until you retire.

Until summer..

Until spring.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org