Cybersalt News

There is a new entry in the FunBlog today. If you are looking for a video that demonstrates how to cut a tree down, this is not the video you are looking for. You'll find "Dumbest Tree Fellers" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/dumbest-tree-fellers

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Officer Overboard

On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?"

"I'd yell 'Man overboard,'" answered the lookout snappily.

"Good," said the officer. "Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?"

The lookout asked, "Which one, sir?"

One-liner #0739

"I sure miss the day when someone else pumped your gas for you - it was much cheaper back then."

Myna Birds

To enforce the ban against exporting myna birds, the State trained lions to guard its frontiers.

One day two smugglers tried to sneak a mynah bird out of the country while the border lions were sleeping. But the lions woke up and captured the smugglers, who were accused of:

Transporting mynas across state lions."

(Richard Lederer)

Quote #1192

"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."
- CS Lewis

Making the Most of Life

"Making the Most of Life"

If I can throw a single ray of light across the darkened pathway of another; if I can aid some soul to clearer sight of life and duty, and thus bless my brother; if I can wipe from any human cheek a tear, I shall not have lived my life in vain while here.

If I can guide some erring one to truth, inspire within his heart a sense of duty; if I can plant within my soul of rosy youth a sense of right, a love of truth and beauty; if I can teach one man that God and heaven are near, I shall not then have lived in vain while here.

If from my mind I banish doubt and fear, and keep my life attuned to love and kindness; if I can scatter light and hope and cheer, and help remove the curse of mental blindness; if I can make more joy, more hope, less pain, I shall not have lived and loved in vain.

If by life's roadside I can plant a tree, beneath whose shade some wearied head may rest, though I may never share its beauty, I shall yet be truly blest - though no one knows my name, nor drops a flower upon my grave, I shall not have lived in vain while here.

- Author Unknown