Issue #3752


Cybersalt News

Today's featured funny page on the Cybersalt site is "Cup Your Ears."  Some say you can hear better if you do that.  You be the judge at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/cup-your-ears

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Sticking Out

At our daughter's high school graduation, I couldn't help noticing a young man sporting a long bleached blond ponytail sprouting from the top of his otherwise shaved head. A heavy link chain hung around his neck, and one ear displayed several earrings.

I had to smile when I heard him say to his friend, "Man, I feel so out of place. I'm the only guy here not wearing a tie."

 

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0725

"Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Twitter."


Here is today's CleanPun

Meditation

"Meditation is not what you think."


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1177

"If more people gave up in life there'd be fewer wars."
- Snowbell


Here is today's Illustration

Reasonable Doubt

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.

"Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But, you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused,retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."

The jury foreman replied, "Oh, we looked, but your client didn't."


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