Cybersalt News

This past weekend I was at a conference in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan (yes, that's English). Here's a shoutout to some of the Cybersaltines I met there - Spence and Marcia, Hans and Wendy, and Jim. There may have been others but since the conference was public they may not have wanted to be seen talking to me.

It was a great weekend - but not in that "Burial Ground Picnic" kind of way:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/no-dancing-please

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Parking Space Sign Language"

After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping mall. I noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction, and, since he was closer, I gave him the "Are you going to park there?" look.

His responding gestures were very complicated. First he shook his head. Next he pointed at me, then at the parking space and then at himself, his watch and the mall. Finishing off, he frowned, raised his palms upward and shrugged. Once I parked, I walked over to the driver to make sure he didn't want the space.

"You must be single," he replied. "If you were married, you would've known that was the universal sign for 'Go ahead and take the spot. I'm waiting for my wife.'"

Today's CleanPun - "Three Little Piggies"

Three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their orders for drinks.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a glass of Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and a little later, the waiter took their orders for dinner.
"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and awhile later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.
"I want lots and lots of water!" exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter, "but why have you only ordered water?"

"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!'" replied the third little piggy.

Today's One Liner

"I worry we are spending so much time on the Internet we are losing our ability to connect with people on TV."
~@toddieC

Today's CleanQuote

If you can't tie good knots, tie plenty of them.
~Yachtsman's Credo

Today's Illustration - "On Company Time"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.

Susie: It grew on company time.

Boss: Not all that hair.

Susie: I didn't get it all cut.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.