Cybersalt News
Don't just sit there, say something. What's the matter - frog got your tongue?
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/frog-tongue
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Homework Excuses"
Excuses to give your teacher when you don't do your homework.
- I didn't do my history homework because I don't believe in dwelling on the past.
- I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.
- A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.
- Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him. Unfortunately, my homework drowned.
- Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.
- I'm not at liberty to say why.
- I wanted to frame the detention letter you're about to give me.
- It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details.
- I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.
- I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
- My mom used it as a dryer sheet.
- My agent won't allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.
- It's against my religion to do any homework.
- I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.
- I felt it wasn't challenging enough.
- My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don't worry, they have been suitably punished.
- We had homework?!
- I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is "blah, blah, blah."
- I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload.
- I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
Today's CleanPun
A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle.
Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"
"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?"
Today's One Liner
"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying." ~Ed Furgol
Today's CleanQuote
"I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back." ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
Today's Illustration - "Coworker Support"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my dog, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring. After a few tense moments, a technician came to her co-worker's defense.
"Sir," she interjected, "are you aware of what happens to aggressive males in this office?"
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.