Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Why does an evil and wicked generation demand a sign? Just ask "Four Mile Baptist Church":
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/four-mile-baptist

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 2"

6. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."

7. Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!"

8. When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma! ," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add 'es'."

Today's CleanPun

"When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A."

Today's One Liner

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, and that's close enough."

Today's CleanQuote

"You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd."

Today's Illustration - "Someone Who Understands"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Bob Weber, past president of Kiwanis International, told this story. He had spoken to a club in a small town and was spending the night with a farmer on the outskirts of the community. He had just relaxed on the front porch when a newsboy delivered the evening paper. The boy noted the sign Puppies for Sale. The boy got off his bike and said to the farmer, "How much do you want for the pups, mister?"

"Twenty-five dollars, son."

The boy's face dropped. "Well, sir, could I at least see them anyway?"

The farmer whistled, and in a moment the mother dog came bounding around the corner of the house tagged by four of the cute puppies, wagging their tails and yipping happily. At last, another pup came straggling around the house, dragging one hind leg.

"What's the matter with that puppy, mister?" the boy asked.

"Well, Son, that puppy is crippled. We took her to the vet and the doctor took an X ray. The pup doesn't have a hip joint and that leg will never be right."

To the amazement of both men, the boy dropped the bike, reached for his collection bag and took out a fifty-cent piece. "Please, mister," the boy pleaded, "I want to buy that pup. I'll pay you fifty cents every week until the twenty-five dollars is paid. Honest I will, mister."

The farmer replied, "But, Son, you don't seem to understand. That pup will never, never be able to run or jump. That pup is going to be a cripple forever. Why in the world would you want such a useless pup as that?"

The boy paused for a moment, then reached down and pulled up his pant leg, exposing that all too familiar iron brace and leather knee-strap holding a poor twisted leg. The boy answered, "Mister, that pup is going to need someone who understands him to help him in life!"

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.