Cybersalt News

Today's Funny Picture on the Cybersalt Site reminds me of one of my favorite skits from Malcolm in the Middle - the Parking Lot scene.

http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/its-just-a-parking-spot

http://www.cybersalt.org/funblog/malcolm-in-the-middle-mall-parking-lot-scene

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Signs You Need a New Pizza Place"

~ The pizza's secrets ingredient is still moving.

~ The delivery kid is packing.

~ This weeks special is double cheese and double anchovies at no extra charge.

~ While waiting for the last order to come out of the oven, you catch the delivery guys playing "Frisbee golf" with the other pizzas.

~ When you call in your order, someone answers the phone with "Gino's Bait Shop and Pizzeria, how may I help you?"

~ When you open the box you find that the anchovies are eating the sausage.

~ You realize the red sauce is ketchup.

~ The pizza box that was just delivered to you displays the phone number for the Poison Control Hot-Line.

~ You notice a sign on the door: "Dear Customers: we are pleased to announce that 38% of our menu is FDA approved."

~ Their slogan is, "If it's not there in 30 minutes, it's not getting there."

~ Your "stuffed crust pizza" is stuffed with pudding instead of cheese.

~ Your order of bread sticks is simply the uneaten crust from old pizza slices.

~ The delivery guy waits at your door until you're finished so he can take the box back for the next customer.

Today's CleanPun

I had just moved to an address between Sunrise Ave. and Sunset Blvd., one of Sacramento's major streets, and was explaining to a clerk where my home was located for billing purposes.

"I live between Sunrise and Sunset," I told her.

"Oh, honey," she knowingly replied, "we all do."

Today's One Liner

A clean house is a sure sign of a broken computer.

Today's CleanQuote

“The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.”

Today's Illustration - "Reverent Behavior"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

At a local church, the members take pride in the reverent behavior of the children during the sermons.

Asked how they engendered this profound respect for the Almighty, one elder explained to me:

"In each batch of new Sunday schoolers, I casually mention that we had to fire the artist who made the stained glass roof panels. I say he got fired for putting bad words in some of the artwork. Now, when energetic little boys get bored, they spend their time staring straight up!"

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.