- The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

- The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

- The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

- A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

- For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

- Toys multiply to fill any space available.

- Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.

- If the shoe fits ... it's expensive.

- Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.