December 2004 - Monthly Archive

Another Year and the Millennium is Well Underway

31 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4576

Another Year and the Millennium is Well Underway

It has been a quiet week in the parsonage. The old year faded as the New Year silently slipped into the parsonage parlor. I don't know about anybody else, but I can't believe another year is under way... read more..

31 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3169

Moving Labels

Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who take the time to label carefully boxes they pack for us.The accuracy of labels can make a huge difference when... read more..

Tsunami News From Full Gospel Church of God in Tamilnadu

31 Dec

Missions

Pastor Tim

7776

Tsunami News From Full Gospel Church of God in Tamilnadu

Dear Rev Tim, Greetings in the Precious Jesus Name You should have heard about the terrible earthquake and flooding which brought destruction, damage and death in our country. It seems that trouble ... read more..

You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

30 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4252

You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:* Your potted plants stay alive.* 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.* You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.* You car... read more..

30 Dec

Melva's Devotions

Melva Cooper

5841

Real Joy

"You will show the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence andthe pleasures of living with your forever."Psalm 16:11 (NLT) Our six year-old granddaughter, Brooke, loves to spe read more..

30 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2755

Hunting Feedback

I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild game.I guess they eat so much, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broi... read more..

29 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2977

You Know You Have A Bad Computer When

You Know You Have A Bad Computer When . . .10. The lower corner of screen has the words "etch a sketch" on it.9. When you insert a disk, it spits out a pack of cigarettes.8. You have to pedal it.7. Th... read more..

28 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4384

Gift Parrot

There was a man who travelled all around the world.Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop he found a parrot that spoke thirty differe... read more..

Church and State: The Separation Illusion

28 Dec

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

5988

Church and State: The Separation Illusion

The goal of First Amendment was to protect religious expression, not restrict it. In the last 50 years, though, ?non-establishment? has been redefined as 'separation,? effectively amending the Constit... read more..

28 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3010

Penguin Breakdown

There was this truck driver who had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, the truck breaks down. After waiting by the side of the road fo... read more..

27 Dec

Dr. Harold McNabb

5257

Enter God

And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. ?Get up,? he said, 't... read more..

27 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4473

Job Application

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment........and they hired him! As what?1. NAME: Greg Bulmash 2. DESIRED POSITION: Reclining.&nbs... read more..

Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

26 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4693

Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by journalists)

1. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted4. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case5. S read more..

25 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7675

Overworked

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.The population of the US is 237 millio... read more..

24 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4947

Tips From Cowboys

~ Never squat with your spurs on!~ Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.~ There's two theories to arguin' with a woman....Neither one works.~ Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.Yo... read more..

22 Dec

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3343

The Christmas Rose!

I love roses...and I'm not particular--"just one red rose will do!"--any time of the year! This Christmas we celebrate the giving of a rose more beautiful than words can describe. God's gift... read more..

22 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4090

Scout's Letter Home

Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 2 of our tents and 4 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, ... read more..

22 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2822

Pain Cause

A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts."Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" She then pr... read more..

21 Dec

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

3710

Christmas Is In The Air!

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.Luke 2:11 Everywhere you go, you get the feeling of Christmas coming. The highways are filled with shoppers... read more..

21 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3634

One-liners

1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.5. I s read more..

20 Dec

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3190

The Promise of Christmas

Chaos reigned supreme. That's how it seemed as we rehearsed our Christmas play. The first rehearsal didn't really happen. The second one was only a bit better, and three quarters of the cast didn't ma... read more..

20 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3502

Funeral Bells

A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after consulting with a new widow about funeral plans for her recently deceased husband. His wife asked him what was wron... read more..

19 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3674

If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!If you needed a break from life, click on suspend... read more..

18 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4010

A Letter From College

A Letter from College:Dear Dad,$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$... read more..

18 Dec

Dr. Harold McNabb

3373

The Why and The How Of Letting Go

Colossians 3:12-17"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." vs 13 A few days ago I was listening to... read more..

18 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2726

Flower System

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the date... read more..

17 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3011

Elf Pet Peeves

*Elf Pet Peeves*7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all read more..

16 Dec

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3827

The Case of the Crooked Candles

I've have the funniest set of Christmas candles in my office you'd ever want to see! They're supposed to be standing straight and tall--and somehow, the ceiling vent's been blowing warm air in their d... read more..

16 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3096

Refueling

Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the Dallas-Forth Worth Airport. At the first stop, a little white truck drove up to the plane and my wife watched it ... read more..

15 Dec

Dr. Harold McNabb

3330

The Highway Of God

How many remember crossing the Rockies before the Roger's Pass highway? It was an adventure of swithbacks and steep drops if you missed a corner. Valerie and I drove a short portion of the famed Route... read more..