It was a typical Sunday afternoon, until it wasn’t.

While talking on the phone with a dear friend, a text came through informing me of another friend’s sudden passing.

At first, I could not grasp this news. I knew my friend was battling a respiratory flu virus, as I had been texting her during the week and spoke to her just the day before. She sounded like she had laryngitis, and the last thing she said before we ended our call was, “Thank you so much for calling.”

As I spent the rest of the day mourning and processing this unexpected news, the Lord brought comfort to my soul.

My daily devotional reading said, “The best theology will not remove mystery from your life, so rest is found in trusting the One who rules, is all, and knows no mystery.” … “You see, there is no mystery with God. He is never caught off guard. He never wonders how He is going to deal with the unexpected thing.” “He knows what is in the darkness, and light dwells with Him” (Daniel 2:22). “Remember today that there is One who looks at what you see as dark and sees light. And as you remember that, remember, too, that He is the ultimate definition of everything that is wise, good, true, loving and faithful.” (New Morning Mercies, by Paul David Tripp).

My friend’s name was Esther. I have never met anyone with that name before. I looked up the meaning of her name, which is connected to Hebrew roots that mean “myrtle,” with the additional significance of “hidden” (reflecting Queen Esther’s story of secretly saving her people). It has great historical and biblical importance, symbolizing courage, hidden strength, and divine purpose.

I paused to reflect on my short years of friendship with Esther. I was referred to as a mentor. I prefer to think I was her friend. I was initially drawn to Esther during a Sunday morning pre-service prayer session where I had publicly prayed. She approached and asked if I would consider meeting with her and praying for her. I was happy and blessed to do so. Esther reminded me of a bird with a broken wing. My, how she struggled. If you apply the meaning “hidden,” then I would say she had deep, hidden pain that sometimes magnified itself in frustration and anger. Often with Esther, what you saw or heard was unfiltered. Yet, she tried, oh, how she tried. Esther had difficult life experiences, and that’s putting it mildly. She was a wounded soldier. I tend to be drawn to the wounded because, by God’s grace, I am a mended soldier.

I genuinely loved my friend, Esther. However, my patience was stretched thin at times, and it was then that I had to pray, pray, pray! I often told Esther that when she smiled, she could light up a room. However, discouragement had a louder voice in her spirit. This became a foothold for the enemy’s lies, which strangled and distorted the truth.

I could make Esther burst into giggles when I called her Queen Esther or even “drama queen.” I believe, as the meaning of her name suggests, there was a hidden strength within Esther’s heart, and I know without doubt she longed to be like Jesus.

My mind is drawn to the Apostle Paul’s words, which I find more applicable when taken from The Message, “For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different (Romans 7:17-25).

Can we all relate? If so, then how do we manage the wounded souls who struggle with the fiercest battles? Maybe we could respond with the grace of Jesus.

Let’s go back to the biblical reference of Queen Esther being used by God to protect her people “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). I am convinced that Esther came into my life “for such a time as this” to teach and stretch me. To teach me what it means to extend grace, mercy, kindness, compassion and patience. To stretch me to remember that it is only God who knows the heart. To remind myself, “my sins, they are many, His mercies are more.”

We can never truly know another’s journey as we are incapable of walking in another’s shoes. Yet we can love, even when it might be hard. I will dearly miss my friend Esther. She was one of Jesus’ broken treasures; now she is one of His shining jewels.

Rest in peace, my friend, safe in the arms of Jesus.

Susan Page is the daughter of the King, His beloved child, wonderfully forgiven and blessed! Susan longs to age gracefully, becoming more like Jesus as she seeks the hidden treasures revealed to her through Scripture, literature, the arts, humankind, and nature.