*Ways To Drive A Man Crazy*

~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house.

~ Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.

~ Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ring Dings.

~ Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.

~ Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.

~ "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.

~ Repeatedly misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time.

~ Repeatedly lose his cell phone in restaurants around town.

~ Loan his cell phone to a pregnant girlfriend who "needs it more than he does."

~ Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."

~ Have your mother fly in for a month-long visit unannounced.

~ Reverse his contact lenses in their case.

~ Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then follow him with a camera to capture his "sinking" on film.

~ Superglue the pages of his Sport Illustrated magazine together.