Putin dies and goes to hell.

After a while he get's a one day pass for good behaviour, so he goes to Moscow and walks into a bar, orders a drink and asks the bartender,

"Is Crimea ours"

"Yes"

"And the Donbas?"

"Donbas too."

"And Kyiv?"

"It's ours."

Satisfied, Putin drinks and asks, "Thanks, how much is it?"

"5 Euros."