A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.
The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
A mathematics teacher came into the faculty room after she'd been watching a basketball game. Her face was glowing. "I've got the greatest idea for teaching!" she exclaimed.
"What do you mean? What's the idea?" asked a couple of colleagues.
"Well, you know how hard it is for us to really teach fractions? The kids just don't seem to be motivated to learn them."
"Yes, it's true," said a fellow math teacher. "So?"
"Well, the solution is to change the system of scoring in basketball. A free-throw, 2 2/3 point; a basket, 3 1/7, and a foul, 7/8 points!"
A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied.
The man poured the fish in to the water and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" the man asked.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" the man asked.
A four-year-old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked in her ears, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?"
The little girl stayed silent.
Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?"
Again, the little girl was silent.
Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heartbeat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?"
"Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants."
26. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one.
27. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now.
28. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.
29. Take time to wonder. Without wonder, life is merely existence.
30. Sit in the dark. It will teach you to see and hear, taste and smell.
31. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the invitations. Less really can be more.
32. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do - but often it is the best.
33. Take a walk - but don't go anywhere. If you walk just to get somewhere, you sacrifice the walking.
34. Count your friends. If you have one, you are lucky. If you have more, you are blessed. Bless them in return.
35. Count your blessings - one at a time and slowly.
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Our collection of inspiring quotes.
A discussion about Truth and Reconciliation with two members of the Wiikwemkoong First Nation, and a member and Chief of the Aundeck Omni Kaning First Nation.
To find and watch other parts of this video series, visit the playlist at:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsFiYkm76UF_Jrx2dFpJLuBqbUJ1NXNPA