Inspiration

A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. 

The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering and she begins moaning. Eventually, a voice comes, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" 

The granddaughter, wide-eyed responds, "Grandma? Is that you?" 

"Yes granddaughter, it's me."

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him.

"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always seem to lose control at the same point in every game."

"When is that?" asked the kid.

"Right after the National Anthem."

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.

The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

A mathematics teacher came into the faculty room after she'd been watching a basketball game. Her face was glowing. "I've got the greatest idea for teaching!" she exclaimed.

"What do you mean? What's the idea?" asked a couple of colleagues.

"Well, you know how hard it is for us to really teach fractions? The kids just don't seem to be motivated to learn them."

"Yes, it's true," said a fellow math teacher. "So?"

"Well, the solution is to change the system of scoring in basketball. A free-throw, 2 2/3 point; a basket, 3 1/7, and a foul, 7/8 points!"