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Inspiration

Quote #1116

Details
Published: 28 July 2011

“You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."

~Nora Ephron

Created: 29 July 2011
Last Updated: 29 July 2011

Quote #1117

Details
Published: 28 July 2011

“You may not like Mondays, but they are one-seventh of your life.”

Created: 29 July 2011
Last Updated: 29 July 2011

Quote #1118

Details
Published: 28 July 2011

“Your child is growing up when he stops asking where he came from and starts refusing to tell where he's been.”

Created: 29 July 2011
Last Updated: 29 July 2011

Quote #1119

Details
Published: 28 July 2011

“Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of it.”

Created: 29 July 2011
Last Updated: 29 July 2011

The "Forwarder's" 12 Step Program

Details
Published: 28 July 2011

Sometimes friends have to tell you things you might not like to hear, but need to. If you are one of those people who like to forward every e-mail you get, please repeat the following ...

1) I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an e-mail!

2) I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.

3) Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money. Victoria Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.

4) Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!

5) I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.

6) I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail! (If you do, you have a virus or trojan.)

7) There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!

8) There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS!

9) The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.

10) There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!!

11) The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individuals dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.

12) And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into forwarding an email by telling me if I don't I am not their friend or that I'm a bad person.

Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will gain twenty pounds in the next three months! (No, not really! If you believe that last statement, go back and read this message again!)

Created: 29 July 2011
Last Updated: 07 February 2020
  • Sermon Illustrations
  1. Quote #1120
  2. Quote #1121
  3. Quote #1122
  4. Quote #1123

Subcategories

Videos Article Count:  47

Illustrations Article Count:  1203

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Quotes Article Count:  2396

Our collection of inspiring quotes.

Sermons Article Count:  523

Christmas Article Count:  40

Easter Article Count:  14

Ten Commandments Article Count:  10

Thanksgiving Article Count:  12

Truth and Reconciliation Article Count:  10

A discussion about Truth and Reconciliation with two members of the Wiikwemkoong First Nation, and a member and Chief of the Aundeck Omni Kaning First Nation.

To find and watch other parts of this video series, visit the playlist at:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsFiYkm76UF_Jrx2dFpJLuBqbUJ1NXNPA

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