Inspiration

Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.

"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be lower."

My brother smiled and said, "That would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts."

A newly deputized police officer responded to a report of a bar room disturbance.

The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds.  What's more he boasted that he could whip the deputy and the "Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World."

Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist too; probably better than Houdini."

The giant nodded.

"If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us all how strong you really are.  But all I've got is a set of lousy handcuffs. Why don't you show us just how quickly you can break out of them?"

Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.

"I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

"Are you sure?" the deputy gingerly asked.

The fellow tried again.  "Nope," he replied.  "I can't do it."

"In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."

"Wisdom is not a product of schooling but the product of the lifelong attempt to acquire it."
- Albert Einstein

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"