After Sunday service a young couple talked to the pastor about joining the church. He hadn't met the husband before, so he asked what church he was transferring from.
The husband looked down at his feet and replied, "I am transferring from the Municipal Golf Course."
“There are three things in life that people like to stare at: a flowing stream, a crackling fire and a Zamboni clearing the ice.”
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
"When it comes to your marriage, if the grass looks greener somewhere else, it's time to water your own yard!"
Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.