Inspiration

"You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it's not a mistake, it's a choice."

A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander.

"Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them," instructed the lawyer.

The witness hesitated.

"But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear," she protested.

"Then," said the attorney, "just whisper them to the judge."

"An adolescent is someone who acts like a baby when they aren't treated like an adult."

The chef of the upscale restaurant I manage collided with a waiter one day and spilled coffee all over our computer. The liquid poured into the processing unit and resulted in some dramatic crackling and popping sounds.

After sopping up the mess, we gathered around the terminal as the computer was turned back on again.

"Please let it work," pleaded the guilt-ridden waiter.

A waitress replied, "Should be faster than ever. That was a double espresso."