Inspiration

A college professor had the mysterious habit of removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket as he walked into the lecture hall each morning. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room.

No one ever understood why he did this, until one day ...

A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor didn't miss a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball, and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.

The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball ...

No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!

"A monument only says, 'At least I got this far,' while a footprint says, 'this is where I was when I moved again.'"
- William Faulkner.

Jill received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery, and was astonished to see a $900 fee for the anesthesiologist. She called his office to demand an explanation.

"Is this some kind of mistake?" Jill asked when she got the doctor on the phone.

"No, not at all," the doctor said calmly.

"Well," said Jill, "that's awfully costly for knocking someone out."

"Not at all," replied the doctor. "I knock you out for free. The 900 dollars is for bringing you back around."

"I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity."
- Tom Stoppard