"Do you love me with all your heart and soul?" asked Becky on Valentines Day.
"Mmm hmm," replied Dave.
"Do you think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Do you think my lips are like rose petals?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Oh Dave," gushed Becky, "you say the most beautiful things!"

Not that my wife's the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project.
I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair right at the front, I pointed to my forehead.