A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
"Great idea!" the chicken cried. "Let's offer them ham and eggs!"
"Not so fast," said the pig. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."

My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience," he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else.
Sam and George go to the bank to cash their paychecks.