Inspiration

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.

Q. What distinguishes "60 Minutes" on CBS from every other TV show?
A. No theme song.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to count until you found the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

Q. Back in the day, when people placed "collect" phone calls, more collect calls were placed on which day of the year?
A. Father's Day

Q. What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?
A. He didn't like to eat carrots.

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

God without man is God. Man without God is nothing.

- unknown

The phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?"

"No," I replied.

"Would you like to consolidate all your debts?"

"I really don't have any," I said.

"How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried.

"I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," I parried.

There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a husband?"

"There is no risk in abandoning ourselves to God."

- Unknown