It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches.
The boy asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older brother explained.
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"

Back in the day, I purchased a telephone-answering machine with a prerecorded message that used a male voice. When my mother returned from vacation, I forgot to mention it to her.
My three year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training, and I was on him constantly about it.