In a fancy restaurant in Columbia, a rich patron started to choke on a bone. A man rushed over, reassured the Yuppie that he was going to be all right and identified himself as a doctor. He performed the Heimlich Maneuver. The bone popped out.
As the man's breath & voice returned he said, "I'm ever so grateful doctor, how can I ever repay you?"
The doctor smiled and said, "I'll settle for one-tenth of what you were willing to pay while you were choking."

It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches.
Back in the day, I purchased a telephone-answering machine with a prerecorded message that used a male voice. When my mother returned from vacation, I forgot to mention it to her.