* Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

* At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

* When in doubt -- anything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

* Following the rules will not get the job done. BUT getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

* If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

* If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

* Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

* You are a successful assistant if you can keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

* No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

* People who go to conferences are the ones who don't understand the problem.

* The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong for the next six months. If you are clever, this can be extended to one year.

* To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.

* When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would Tonto explain this to the Lone Ranger?"

* When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.