Entertainment

I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday and I'll tell you what . . . never again!

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober 

An ice cream store employee is standing behind the counter on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant goobers. They come up to the counter, order 10 triple-scoop cones and take their order over and sit down at a large table. Then they begin chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more goobers arrive, take up their cones and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more goobers show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Cybersalt News

Tomorrow will be an exciting day here at Cybersalt World Headquarters as Joomla 3.5 (the software that runs the Cybersalt sites) is released. For those of you who have web sites running on Joomla you can read more and get in on the celebration savings at:
www.cybersalt.org/joomla/joomla-3-5-0-release

But let's also have some excitement today - there is a new Funny Cat Picture on the Cybersalt Site. You can view "Cat Relax" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-relax

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

Today's CleanLaugh

Speeding Ticket

A lady who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.

After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"

"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.

"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1001

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

Today's Clean Pun

Monastery Choir

The local monastery is looking for a choir director: apply if you get the chants.

Today's Quote

Quote #1450

"The water only becomes wine when you draw some out." - Mark Chironna

Soul Winning Efforts

A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul, the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"

Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."

"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"

With the same amount of interest as his previous answer, the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be lookin' for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."

The young, determined preacher tried again, asking the farmer, "Are you lost?"

"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.

"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.

This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"

Thinking he had accomplished something, the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow or the next day."

Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much, and she'll wanna go all three days."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

I think I know who got into the muscle relaxants.