To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and my flip-flops ... you can hide, but you can't run!
Entertainment
At my funeral, I would like there to be a piñata so people can be happy ... but filled with bees so they're not too happy.
Take One
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
Click here to view this edition online!

Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings, everyone and welcome to summer/winter (depending on which hemisphere you live in!)
Our nets on the fruit tree are working pretty well. As a result, we have lots of cherries to pick so these days only Grandma Cybersalt is up the tree, while I hold the ladder.
Every now and then, I notice that I have taken another step towards being a senior citizen. This past week's moment was when I noticed how much I was enjoying this video on the oldest bridge in London.
Click Here to Watch
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
Pilot Humor
Here are some actual maintenance complaints generally known as squawks or problems submitted recently by real pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks prior to the aircraft's next flight, the maintenance crews are required to log the details of action taken as a solution to the pilots squawks. The following are some recent squawks and subsequent responses by maintenance crews.
(P) is the problem logged by the pilot, and (S) marks the solution and action taken by maintenance engineers.
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.
(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
(P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) #2 propeller seepage normal - - #1, #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.
(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in cockpit.
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.
(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on backorder.
(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
(P) Friction lock causes throttle levers to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for!!
(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine three found on right wing after brief search.
(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!!
(P) Target Radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.
One-Liner #1933
Funny thing about marriage is I would 100%, without a doubt, take bullet for my wife; but I can also say, 100%without a doubt, she'd be the reason we were getting shot at in the first place.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Bedtime Banter🛌
I told my daughter to go to bed because the cows were already sleeping in the field.
She asked me what that had to do with anything and I told her, "It means it's pasture bedtime."
Quote #2369
Five lies of identity:
- I am what I have.
- I am what I do.
- I am what other people say or think of me.
- I am nothing more than my worst moment.
- I am nothing less than my best moment.
- Henri Nouwen
Good Cooks
When my son was 11 years old, he got a small job helping out with a traveling carnival while it was in our town.
He didn't come home at lunch time, phoning instead to tell me he was fine and had found a few days work helping out at an exhibit. He turned up for supper as usual however after he finished work.
I asked him how he had managed at lunch and he told me he had made some new friends at the carnival, some young men who were twin brothers, and their mom and dad. They had paid him a few dollars and invited him for lunch in return for helping them set up their exhibit and wanted him to return the next day to help with other chores.
I was glad he had found new friends but a little apprehensive about the type of people that might be traveling in a carnival.
"Oh Mom, these are just normal everyday people like anyone else. They just work at a carnival instead of in a store or something. Come down tomorrow and meet them yourself," he said.
So the next day I went to the carnival and to the exhibit he had directed me to. The twin brothers turned out to be Siamese twins, joined at the chest. He hadn't thought this fact was noteworthy enough to mention.
When I talked about it later to him he said, "Yes, I noticed that too. Do you know that their mom has to make all their clothes because it's so difficult to find anything to fit them? They're also really good cooks. Today, Joe, the one on the right, made me spaghetti for lunch."
What others see first in a person (or persons) is not what a child considers important. Where I saw Siamese twins, he saw people having difficulty buying clothes that fit, and young men who were good cooks.
It was a lesson I have thought about many times over the years.
- Charlotte Mansfield
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
What’s Chocolate Got To Do With It?
Did you ever have a morning when everything went exactly as you planned? Well, neither have I.
I plan my schedule to include everything I need for the day. But, unlike The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, I fall way short of accomplishing that.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I told my daughter to go to bed because the cows were already sleeping in the field.
She asked me what that had to do with anything and I told her, "It means it's pasture bedtime."
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1559
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1986
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2044
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
