Buyer Beware: Shopping malls have benches, so guys can sit while they give up the will to live.
Never bring a downhill run to an uphill battle.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Mrs. Cybersalt and I are back from our time away focussing on the tasks and goals that kept us very busy from June 1 to July 6. During those 36 days, we travelled approximately 13,400km or 8350 miles by land, air, sea and even rail!
A large chunk of that travel was from Victoria to Banff and back for our denomination's national conference. The drive was wonderful and the conference was great - I think many of you would enjoy watching/listening to our main speaker (especially session #2) at:
www.agcofcanada.com/events/national-conference-2016
With the return to our regular Cybersalt schedule, I am happy to let you know there is a new funny cat page on the Cybersalt site. You'll find "Cat Cookie Thief" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-cookie-thief
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim
Politically correct terms for cat owners:
- My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug re-decorator.
- My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
- My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.
- My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.
- My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
- My cat is not a "shedding machine," she is a hair relocation stylist.
- My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.
- My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.
- My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.
- My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.
- My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.
- My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.
- My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
- My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(which should always be the food dish).
I'm ready to be a parent because I just told the oil change guy "no" 15 times in 30 seconds.
Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome; it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.
"People ask me, 'Why pray if God is sovereign?' I respond, 'Why pray if He isn't?'"
- Michael Horton
“We are, not metaphorically but in very truth, a Divine work of art, something that God is making, and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character.
Here again, we come up against what I have called the 'intolerable compliment.'
Over a sketch made idly to amuse a child, an artist may not take much trouble: he may be content to let it go even though it is not exactly as he meant it to be.
But over the great picture of his life - the work which he loves, though in a different fashion, as intensely as a man loves a woman or a mother a child - he will take endless trouble - and would doubtless, thereby give endless trouble to the picture if it were sentient.
One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and re-commenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumb-nail sketch whose making was over in a minute.
In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time.
One morning while making his bed, he heard the dispatcher say,
"Car 34, there is a five-foot boa constrictor in someone's front yard. The resident wants a police officer to come and remove it."
There was a long pause, then some static.
Slowly, a voice said, "We can't get the car started."
To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate. We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the priest there well.
When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't remember.
After a brief silence, she chuckled and said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the baby's father."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
