1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. Don't let anyone tell you that you're getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.

3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

I just invented a new dish. I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.

I call it "Letter Rip!"

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Your mailing from Sunday may have arrived very late and this mailing may take a while to get to some of you too. The recent two week break from sending out mailings changed the receiving stats of some internet companies and their artificial intelligence saw the resumed increase as something to be wary of. Things should return to normal in a few mailings.

The recent break also resulted in a backlog of commentaries by Rev. James Snyder, as some of you pointed out. I am working on catching up on those. Today you can read about James' recent trip to the mall and the unexpected smell he left with!  You will find "Is it a fragrance or a stench?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/is-it-a-fragrance-or-a-stench

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! 

~ Pastor Tim

Number Eighteen

A first-time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for "lights out" and the cell-block becomes dark nearly silent.

Eventually, a voice from across the cell-block cries out "twenty-two!" and everyone breaks out into loud and prolonged laughter. A little while later another voice calls out "forty-one!" and again the entire cell-block enjoys a hearty laugh.

The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what this is all about. The cellmate replies that they have been in prison so long that rather than tell the same jokes over and over, they have assigned numbers to them as a more efficient way to tell jokes. The new prisoner asks if he could give it a try. His cellmate says "Sure, why not tell number eighteen!"

No response whatsoever.....not even a snicker! The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what went wrong.

The cellmate replies, "Some people just don't know how to tell a joke!"

One-liner #1329

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!

Quote #1770

"We need to care less about whether our children are academically gifted & more about whether they sit with the lonely kid in the cafeteria."

- unknown

Today's Illustration

Siblings

My seven-year-old son, Nick, received a snap-together electronic kit for his birthday. He learned that if you put a resistor in line with the speaker, it lowers the volume from the speaker.

During the six-hour car trip home from my parents' house, Nick had had about enough of his three-month-old brother's constant crying in the car.

So he said, "I wish I had a resistor in my ear!"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

There was a rabbi in a small town and he was really curious about why so many people ate pork. He really wanted to try some, but there was nowhere in town he could go and not be seen. One weekend, he made an excuse and traveled to a distant town, went into a restaurant, and ordered the first pork item on the menu. 

While he was waiting for his order of pork, the president of his congregation walked in. He saw the rabbi and asked if he could join him for dinner, and the rabbi had no choice but to agree. A while later, the waiter returned with the rabbi's meal. He took the cover off the large platter, and there was a whole roast pig with an apple in its mouth.

The congregation president was more than a little shocked.

"What a fancy place," explained the rabbi quickly. "Just look at how they serve the apple I ordered."