Entertainment

You've seen those fitness ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now. The following exercises can be done anywhere, anytime.

Inner Thighs: Place the dog's favorite toy between thighs. Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged - dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged.

Definitions:

Inflation is an economic device by which each man can make more than the next.

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

This issue was actually created last week, but I forgot to schedule it to go out. 

So,enjoy the rest of last week's mailing today!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Spelling Information

"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."

Today's One Liner

One-liner #1348

Definitions

Monism is the theory that anything less than everything is nothing.

Today's Clean Pun

Final Word

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands, clears his throat and says, "Plethora," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says. "That means alot!"

Today's Quote

Quote #1790

"For Jesus, there are no countries to be conquered, no ideologies to be imposed, no people to be dominated. There are only children, women and men to be loved."

- Henri Nouwen

Today's Illustration

Judge Gently

Pray don’t find fault with the man who limps
Or stumbles along the road,
Unless you have worn the shoes that hurt,
Or struggled beneath his load.
There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,
Though hidden away from view;
Or the burden he bears, placed on your back,
Might cause you to stumble, too.

Don’t sneer at the man who’s down today
Unless you have felt the blow
That caused his fall, or felt the same
That only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, if dealt to you
In the self-same way at the self-same time,
Might cause you to stagger, too.

Don’t be too harsh with the man who sins
Or pelt him with words or stones,
Unless you are sure, yea, doubly sure,
That you have no sins of your own.
For you know perhaps, if the tempter's voice
Should whisper as soft to you
As it did to him when he went astray,
‘Twould cause you to falter, too.

- Author Unknown

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Definitions

Monism is the theory that anything less than everything is nothing.