My horse will only come out of her stable after dark. She is becoming a night mare.
A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone.
The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch.
The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them.
The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man.
"So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"
The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
Discovering too late that a watermelon fruit punch spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local Baptist ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction.
"Quick, man," he whispered to the head waiter, "what did they say?"
"Nothing," replied the waiter.
"They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets."
Sunday greetings everyone and welcome to November - 2d260!
Well, the Blue Jays lost the World Series: what a bummer.
I hope to be over it in 2 days, if/when I turn 60!
Enjoy the rest of today's Digest.
~ Pastor Tim
On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told the children that it was St. Francis' Church.
"It must be a franchise," her eight-year-old son said. "We've got one of those in our town too."
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A Sunday school teacher challenged her children to take some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God. They were to bring back their letter the following Sunday.
One little boy wrote: "Dear God, We had a good time at church today. Wish You could have been there."
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Bouncing out of her first day in nursery school at Mount Moriah Presbyterian Church in Port Henry, New York, a three-year-old girl gleefully informed her mother: "We had juice and Billy Graham crackers!"
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Rev. David A. Stammerjohn, pastor of Laboratory Presbyterian Church, Washington, Pennsylvania, spent a week at the Synod school with his two children. The school's theme focused on Moses and the Exodus.
When they returned home, his five-year-old daughter excitedly greeted her mother: "Guess what, Mommy. We made unleaded bread!"
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The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name.
They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
One lad raised his hand and said, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13."
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Four-year-old Tucker Jones attended the vacation Bible school at our church. The theme was "Discipleship and Saving Mother Earth."
His mother, Trish Jones, asked Tucker what he had learned.
He immediately told her all about "Jesus and the 12 recycles."
Sometimes I think I'm reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or a third time for extra lockiness.
I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person!
All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
"If wealth was the inevitable result of hard work and enterprise, every woman in Africa would be a millionaire."
- George Monbiot
May God bless you with a restless discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
- Sister Ruth Fox
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . .
I must confess I sometimes get so busy that certain things have slipped my mind. I don't do this intentionally, but I try to prioritize things in my life.
With so many things going on, it is tough to keep up-to-date with everything, even personal items.
This is not true with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. No matter how busy her day is, she always keeps up with everything. She knows things that are happening a week before they actually happen. How she does that, I don't know, and trust me, I am not going to inquire.
Read moreThe Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person!
All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
