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Entertainment

One-Liner #1969

A middle-aged woman sitting outdoors, looking directly at us with a dead-pan expression.I'm writing a book on reverse psychology; please DO NOT buy it.

  • Shopping One-liners
  • Writing One-liners
  • Logic One-liners
  • Human Nature One-Liners

A Tale of Two Bugs

colosseumI'm currently reading a book about a couple of insects who fall in love in an Italian city.

It's a Rome ants novel.

  • Clean Puns
  • Love Puns
  • Name Puns
  • Bug Puns

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #5055 - October 23, 2025

The Cybersalt Digest

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - 12d260!

Why Doctors Say OpenEvidence Is A Game ChangerLast Sunday's news did not appear due to another error between my seat and my keyboard. So here it what I meant to report - still news, but just a few days staler.

The brake warning light has been on in my truck for many months and for some reason I simply assumed it was a sensor in my emergency brake pedal once released. However, the other day I realized it was more than that when I drove to the end of my driveway, stepped on the brake pedal and thought "this might get exciting" as the pedal went almost to the floor. I did manage to stop before entering the road. I then checked the brake fluid reservoir and found it empty. After filling it up, the brake warning light went out and I sheepishly realized that would have been an easy fix months ago. Now I just have to get the air out of my brake lines: Gilligan!

Today's video share is a look at how AI is helping medical specialists deal with the rate of the doubling of medical knowledge. In 1950, that rate was every 50 years. In 2025, it is every 73 days!
Click Here to Watch

Enjoy the rest of today's Digest. 

~ Pastor Tim 



Answering Machine Messages

phone eightiesHi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my Financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry I have plenty of money.

Hi. John's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

If you are a burglar, then we're probably home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.



One-Liner #1968

A young man in a red checked shirt, hands clasped behind his head looking shocked.Been renovating my place ... and when I knocked down a wall, I found a secret, fully furnished room!! Then I remembered ... we live in a duplex.




When the Stork Can't Handle It

bird grey crowned craneSmaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.



Quote #2404

A large white moon rising over dark water."Everyone is a moon and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody."

- Mark Twain



North Americans

A dark image of earth against the blackness of space.We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.

We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.

We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but mumble through half the words our national anthems.

We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.

We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.

We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.

We get upset we're spending over a billion dollars for education, but spend three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.

In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.

We're supposed to be the most civilized Christian place on earth, but we still can't deliver payrolls without an armored car.

We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.

We have more food to eat than anywhere in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.


Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


Susan Page writes . . . . 

The God I Love

An orange-red autumn leaf with blurred leaves and branches in the background.Have you ever experienced a time when challenges and trials caused a deep restlessness within your soul? When we wrestle with unanswered prayers or dreams that have become nightmares, we often increase the pace of our activities to avoid the pain and doubt.

An activity that both inspires and calms me is reading inspirational biographies of people who have faced their own dark nights of the soul.

One such biography is The God I Love by Joni Eareckson Tada.

Read more

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Proud Mom

Old-school magnetic letters that children put on fridges years ago.Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" had been proudly displayed for all to see.

One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched.  In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. 

"Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face.

"That's wonderful!" she said.  "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily.

Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen.

"Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'"

  • Parenting Jokes
  • Pearly Gates Jokes
  • Kid Jokes
  • Spelling Jokes

Answering Machine Messages

phone eightiesHi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my Financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry I have plenty of money.

Hi. John's answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

  • Clean Jokes
  • Communication Jokes

Read more: Answering Machine Messages

  1. When the Stork Can't Handle It
  2. One-Liner #1968
  3. One-Liner #1967
  4. A Black Tie Affair

Subcategories

Clean Jokes Article Count:  3626

Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you?  Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4639
 

Christmas Jokes Article Count:  77

a picture of christmas ballsWe think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.

If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!

Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count:  3

It's your turn to be funny.  Submit your funny caption today.

Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count:  16

Are you looking for funny elephant pictures?  You've come to the right place!

Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count:  1559

Games Article Count:  15

Here are the games we have on the site so far.  There aren't many but they're loads of fun.

Funny Pictures Article Count:  679

Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow.  We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often.  Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.

Funny Car Pictures Article Count:  169

Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.

Funny Cat Pictures Article Count:  231

catmelonhead150x127.jpgOver the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.

And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.

  

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4639

 

 

 

Funny Dog Pictures Article Count:  149

dog_maggie.jpgSome say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.

It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.

Funny Horse Pictures Article Count:  24

Here's our funny horse pictures collection.

Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count:  53

christmas cakeWe think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.

We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count:  544

Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes.  Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

FunBlog Article Count:  534

When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here.  If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!

Cartoons Article Count:  3119

These are some of our favorite cartoons.

Backpew Article Count:  2944

Clean Puns Article Count:  1986

Our collection of puns.

 

ss secret

The Best Kept Secret Ever!

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
ss mothers day

An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President

July 06, 2015 Entertainment Pastor Tim
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
ss tire ski jump

Tire Ski Jump

Jun 29, 2015 Hits: 4639

 

Funny Signs Article Count:  167

Our collection of funny signs.

One-liners Article Count:  2041

A great collection of clean, funny one-liners! 

Chicken Humor Article Count:  1

Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart! 

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