The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Mike.
When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said,
"What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?"
"My sense of humor is fine," said Mike. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm quitting tomorrow."
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news.
So, not to be captured, he ran through fields and traveled through back roads until he reached his wife's house.
When he reached the house, he rang the bell, his wife opened the door and yelled,
"You lousy bum! Where have you been? You escaped more than six hours ago!"
Self-Annihilating SentenceThere is no other language but French.
A guy stole a hundred cans of Red Bull from our neighborhood store; I don't know how he can sleep at night!
"People who are totally consumed with idealistic principles rarely do anything."
- Oswald Chambers
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.
For example, as a duck hunter, I was in the market for a new bird dog a few years ago. My search finally ended when I found a dog that could not only retrieve but could actually walk on water! Shocked by my find, I was both skeptical that the dog would be able to keep this up after I purchased it (you know, maybe the salesman was somehow playing a cruel trick on me), and also that any of my friends would ever believe me.
I decided to try to break the news to one friend at a time starting with a long-time buddy who was also a hunter. He was a pessimist by nature but I invited him to hunt with me and my new dog.
As we waited, carefully concealed by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. We fired, and ducks fell at a distance. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the birds, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long--each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
My pessimist buddy watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word about it the entire day.
On the drive home, the silence was suddenly broken when my friend said, "Too bad about your dog."
A little surprised at his statement, I asked, "What do you mean?"
"I mean," drawled the pessimist slowly, "it's too bad ya got stuck with one that can't swim."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Sally had lived a good life, having been married four times. Now she stood before the Pearly Gates.
The angel at the gates said to her, "I see that you first of all married a banker, then an actor, next a pastor and lastly an undertaker. Why? This does not seem appropriate for a Christian woman."
"Oh yes it is," Sally replied.
"It's one for the money, two for the show, three to make ready and four to go!"
A guy stole a hundred cans of Red Bull from our neighborhood store; I don't know how he can sleep at night!
Self-Annihilating SentenceThere is no other language but French.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
