Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.
As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say.
"It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips."
Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out.
"If there is a dress here that will do that, I'll buy them all!"
Issue #4519
Cybersalt News
Sunday Greetings everyone!
I don't usually broadcast when I am travelling, but now that I am back I can tell you the big news I was promising.
As some of you know I have a YouTube channel about Joomla, one of the tools I build websites with. At the end of December I was invited to take part in a Joomla software forum taking place in Marbella, Spain. I was one of 60 or so people invited from around the world.
After the 3 day forum was over I was able to squeeze in an overnight trip to Gibraltar with a new friend (not the one in the picture below) and then I enjoyed an unexpected extension to my trip when a client asked me to visit them for 3 days in Jersey, the Channel Island 16 miles off of the coast of France.
God blessed my socks off and my brains out on this trip, which was my first time out of North America. It was a huge growing experience for me personally and also a great boost to grow in my business.
BTW, if you have any website design work, web management work, or things of that nature please let me know. I am still looking for clients - This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Lost and Found
A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa got out. The polite policeman explained that the elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home.
"Morris," said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! How come you get lost today?"
Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear, grandpa whispered,
"I wasn't lost. I was just too tired to walk home."
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1446
Ambivialent? Well, yes and no.
Today's Clean Pun
Faster Than a Speeding Editor
As a Superhero I would be "Typoman" ... the writer of wrongs!
Today's Quote
Quote #1884
"Before you act ... Listen. Before you react ... Think. Before you spend ... Earn. Before you criticize ... Wait. Before you quit ... Try."
- E. Hemingway
Today's Illustration
Assumption
In World War II my father-in-law was stationed at the Army Air Corps base in Prestwick, Scotland.
President Franklin Roosevelt was to make a visit at any time, and coded messages were used to alert the air tower of such top-secret arrivals. One night the tower received the message: "Big Dogs Arriving 0600."
The next morning, as the plane landed on the runway, the entire base awaited the President and his officials. The cargo door opened, the band commenced playing, and the commanding officer led the salute. Jaws dropped in amazement as out onto the red carpet walked the "Big Dogs" ... ten large, furry huskies used for military reconnaissance.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
As a Superhero I would be "Typoman" ... the writer of wrongs!
A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa got out. The polite policeman explained that the elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home.
"Morris," said grandma, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! How come you get lost today?"
Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear, grandpa whispered,
"I wasn't lost. I was just too tired to walk home."
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1559
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1994
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2049
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!