A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could only speak two words at the end of every seven years.
The first seven years passed and his overseer took the man into a small room. His 2 word were, "too cold."
How do you share 355 cherries among 113 people?
Make cherry pi.
(355/113 = 3.14)
Palm Sunday Greetings everyone!
As we enter into Holy Week, most of us do so unable to gather together with others. Of course that is nothing new for many of Jesus' followers who have ill health or live in areas of great persecution toward Jesus's followers, but for many of us this Easter is going to be very different. Let's make the most of this opportunity, forced upon us by dark times, to connect in a fresh way with what no virus can take away from those who follow Jesus. Truly, everything we will miss about this Easter has nothing to do with Easter.
On this Palm Sunday, 2020, all glory, laud and honour to you Redeemer King!
Rev. James Snyder is prone to sneezing and is very aware of the attention that draws to him. You can read, "Have Nose, Will Sneeze" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/have-nose-will-sneeze
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
I recall a story my father used to tell about a pastor who had been at a church for 20 years. To show their appreciation for all his years of faithful service, the congregation decided to collect an offering and buy him a new car. So on the Sunday of his anniversary they had a special reception in honor of the pastor and his wife.
Lots of visitors come in for the occasion. Near the end of the reception, the chairman of the deacons got up and presented the keys to a brand new Lincoln Town Car to the pastor. The pastor was so overwhelmed he really did not know what to say.
After taking a few moments to collect himself, he addressed the congregation and emotionally stammered, "I just want you to know that I really do not appreciate this, but I sure do deserve it."
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
I once knew a poet who would start writing his poetry immediately when he got up.
He went from bed to verse.
"Even though we do not know what is around every bend in the road, God does."
- David Jeremiah
You don't need to know all of your answers in advance to solve a problem or to reach your goal. But you must have a clear idea of the problem or the goal you want to reach in advance.
Everyone who achieved success in a great venture, solved their problems as they came to them. They helped themselves. And they were helped through powers known and unknown to them at the time they set out on their voyage. They kept going regardless of the obstacles they met.
Don't procrastinate when faced with a difficult problem. Break your problem into parts, and handle one part at a time. All you have to do is know where you're going. The answers will come to you of their own accord.
It's the job you never start that takes longest to finish.
~Author Unknown
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
I recall a story my father used to tell about a pastor who had been at a church for 20 years. To show their appreciation for all his years of faithful service, the congregation decided to collect an offering and buy him a new car. So on the Sunday of his anniversary they had a special reception in honor of the pastor and his wife.
Lots of visitors come in for the occasion. Near the end of the reception, the chairman of the deacons got up and presented the keys to a brand new Lincoln Town Car to the pastor. The pastor was so overwhelmed he really did not know what to say.
After taking a few moments to collect himself, he addressed the congregation and emotionally stammered, "I just want you to know that I really do not appreciate this, but I sure do deserve it."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
