A man commissioned Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife. Startled by the nonrepresentational image on the canvas, the woman's husband complained, "It isn't how she really looks."
When asked by the painter how she really looked, the man produced a photograph from his wallet.
Returning the photograph Pablo observed, "Small, isn't she?"
"I wish I had asked for a seat in advance," Tom said reservedly.
Issue #4544
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Thanks to Benny and Cindy T for today's chicken picture. Just look at those saucy hens turning their egg makers toward them!
Wash your hands, keep safe and enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door. She hasn't heard anything from her for a few days.
So she tells her son, "I want you to go next door and see how ol' Mrs. Pierpoint is."
A few minutes later, the boy returns.
"Well, is she all right?" the mother asks.
"She's fine, but she's annoyed with you," he says.
"At me? Whatever for?"
"Well," says her son, "Mrs. Pierpoint told me it's none of your business how old she is."
Errors have been made; others will be blamed.
A job at the nursery can lead to a budding career.
"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize."
- Voltaire
Today's Illustration
Who's limited?Once again I get a poem,
About some miserable person,
Whining about his life,
And he meets a bunch of "poor disabled people..."
And the poem ends with him
Wrapped up in his thankfulness for what he has that I "don't."
True, I cannot see the sun rise,
I cannot see the stars at night,
But my life is not pathetic...
Well, not in the way many perceive it.
I live a full life.
I work, I dream,
I live, I feel.
I go about my day much as you,
productive and free.
Most of my limitations,
come from you,
your inability to stop and really think.
You get hung up on what I do,
and leave me trapped here,
hurting, aching,
Trying to break free.
I'm tired of dreaming for you.
I'm tired of coming up with all the answers.
I'm tired of having my wings clipped,
Trapped by your lack of ideas,
About what my life is and can be like.
Now, I curse my life,
I curse the freedom I was taught as a child,
I wish I was as limited as you think I am.
I wish I could forget
because it's just too much to take
living with these constant contradictions
between the life I know I have
and the life I cannot have.
Instead of pitying me,
and feeling so good about what you "have,"
why don't you stop, and think, and dream
and set me free?
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Many patients call the pathology group where I am office manager to discuss their medical bills.
One irate woman demanded that I describe every laboratory test on her statement.
Errors have been made; others will be blamed.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
