Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
I don't know if you have ever watched the Bill Murray movie "Groundhog Day," but I can definitely identify with the main character in that movie who wakes up to live the same day over and over again with no end in sight. I'm not ready to take the groundhog for a ride to the quarry yet, but a new career as concert pianist may still be within reach!
On a more somber note, yesterday I learned of the sudden passing of a lovely man from my former church. We had a fun connection, sharing the same birthday. I'm not sure what shape remembering his life is going to take, but with gathering restrictions and wisdom in place, it will be something virtual. The pandemic has left little untouched with its arrival (I don't think we're in its wake yet), however I am encouraged and thankful that there remains an important truth it can never touch.
With that in mind, this week I thought I'd share a video with you that was created by an online friend. He has been putting together virtual choirs long before that was the only choir we were allowed to have:
Rev. James Snyder recalls some of the fun memories of his opinionated Uncle Frank and fed up Aunt Betty. You can read "In My Humble Opinion" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/in-my-humble-opinion
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Signs You Are In For a Long Sermon
Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon
10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.
9. The pews have camper hookups.
8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.
7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.
6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.
5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.
4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.
3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.
2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.
And ... the Number One Sign you are in for a long sermon:
1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only September!
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1469
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Today's Clean Pun
Quirky Success
Did you hear about the scientists who were nominated for the Nobel Prize?
It seems they discovered and calibrated the smallest particles known to man using only dental equipment.
They became known as "The Graders of the Flossed Quark."
Today's Quote
Quote #1907
"If we are not changed by grace, then we are not saved by grace."
- A. W. Tozer
Today's Illustration
Making Deals With God
Fred was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,
"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Fred looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
“Watches and clocks are always displayed and sold on a time table.”
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the 