Errors have been made; others will be blamed.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door. She hasn't heard anything from her for a few days.
So she tells her son, "I want you to go next door and see how ol' Mrs. Pierpoint is."
A few minutes later, the boy returns.
"Well, is she all right?" the mother asks.
"She's fine, but she's annoyed with you," he says.
"At me? Whatever for?"
"Well," says her son, "Mrs. Pierpoint told me it's none of your business how old she is."
A job at the nursery can lead to a budding career.
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
I don't know if you have ever watched the Bill Murray movie "Groundhog Day," but I can definitely identify with the main character in that movie who wakes up to live the same day over and over again with no end in sight. I'm not ready to take the groundhog for a ride to the quarry yet, but a new career as concert pianist may still be within reach!
On a more somber note, yesterday I learned of the sudden passing of a lovely man from my former church. We had a fun connection, sharing the same birthday. I'm not sure what shape remembering his life is going to take, but with gathering restrictions and wisdom in place, it will be something virtual. The pandemic has left little untouched with its arrival (I don't think we're in its wake yet), however I am encouraged and thankful that there remains an important truth it can never touch.
With that in mind, this week I thought I'd share a video with you that was created by an online friend. He has been putting together virtual choirs long before that was the only choir we were allowed to have:
Rev. James Snyder recalls some of the fun memories of his opinionated Uncle Frank and fed up Aunt Betty. You can read "In My Humble Opinion" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/in-my-humble-opinion
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Signs You Are In For a Long Sermon
Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon
10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.
9. The pews have camper hookups.
8. You overhear the pastor telling the sound man to have a few (dozen!) extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.
7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.
6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.
5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.
4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.
3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.
2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.
And ... the Number One Sign you are in for a long sermon:
1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only September!
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1469
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Today's Clean Pun
Quirky Success
Did you hear about the scientists who were nominated for the Nobel Prize?
It seems they discovered and calibrated the smallest particles known to man using only dental equipment.
They became known as "The Graders of the Flossed Quark."
Today's Quote
Quote #1907
"If we are not changed by grace, then we are not saved by grace."
- A. W. Tozer
Today's Illustration
Making Deals With God
Fred was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,
"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Fred looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Subcategories
Clean Jokes Article Count: 3626
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Christmas Jokes Article Count: 77
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
Your Turn to Be Funny Article Count: 3
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Funny Elephant Pictures Article Count: 16
Are you looking for funny elephant pictures? You've come to the right place!
Cybersalt Digest Archive Article Count: 1559
Games Article Count: 15
Here are the games we have on the site so far. There aren't many but they're loads of fun.
Funny Pictures Article Count: 679
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Funny Car Pictures Article Count: 169
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Funny Cat Pictures Article Count: 231
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Dog Pictures Article Count: 149
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Funny Horse Pictures Article Count: 24
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
Funny Christmas Pictures Article Count: 53
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
Pearly Gates Jokes Article Count: 544
Here are some clean, theologically incorrect jokes. Most of them have been featured in the PearlyGates section of the free Cybersalt Digest Newsletter - which you can subscribe to by clicking here.
FunBlog Article Count: 533
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Clean Puns Article Count: 1986
Our collection of puns.
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
Funny Signs Article Count: 167
Our collection of funny signs.
One-liners Article Count: 2044
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chicken Humor Article Count: 1
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!